Agony. Sadness. Hopelessness. Despair. Isolation. Alone. Depression. Misery. Anguish. Desperation. Sorrow. PAIN.

I cannot begin to fathom the emotions going through the hearts of the people of Haiti.

When I first heard of the earthquake in Haiti, two thoughts were going through my mind. Where is Haiti? Is it really that big of a deal? So I went to find out. Haiti is an island located in the Caribbean Sea, right between Cuba and Dominican Republic. It’s one of the poorest countries in the world. After further investigation I soon realized that it was a HUGE deal. Estimations of death go all the way up to the hundred of thousands. The magnitude of the quake was 7.0, I’m no earthquake whiz but I’ve heard it’s a pretty hard hit. The whole city of Port Au Prince is crumbled into pieces. People are sleeping in the streets. People are in despair, worrying where their loved ones are and if they made it. There are people still stuck inside layers of debris, crying and hoping for help. The city is in chaos; no electricity, no food supply, and no professional health aid.

But there is hope….

People from all over the world are pitching in to save the people of Port Au Prince.  The U.S. Navy is sending supplies from air crafts, nurses and doctors from all over the country are flying over, the Red Cross is using donation money to get food and shelter to Haitians who’re wandering helplessly in the streets. But they can’t do it all alone.

I’m not here to guilt trip anybody. I’m here asking for some compassion. And if possible a little help. The only thing normal civilians like us can do now is to pitch in a couple of bucks and donate to the cause. Donating is the only thing we can do to help our neighboring country. If donating isn’t an option there are other things people can do to help.  Spreading the word  and praying for them. I will also be trying my best to contribute to the cause.

If you decide to donate here’s a link  http://american.redcross.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ntld_main&s_src=RSG000000000&s_subsrc=RCO_FrontPagePanel. To donate click on the link and hit “Haiti Relief and Development.”

My heart goes out to all victims of the earthquake and to those affected in any way by it.

Everyday there are people going to work putting on this fake personality that is required for almost any job. The regular greeting you get every time you step into a store is usually “Hi, how’re you doing today?” And they’ll be expecting a “good and how’re you doing?” Instead, I change the typical response to what I’m really feeling or something random. I was shopping at the mall the other day and I walked inside a store. The first words I heard were, as usual, “how are you doing today?” I responded with “I feel horrible today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend and I lost my wallet just now.” She froze for about ten seconds and simply said “well if you need anything just holler,” and she walked away. I left the store laughing. She froze because she was expecting a “good” or a “great” but she didn’t see what was really coming so she couldn’t react fast enough. In my opinion, if people took off that fake mask at work I think working would be far more fun and more enjoyable.

Teachers are expected to be the perfect being. One little flaw and students will start saying what a bad teacher she is. A misconception of teachers is that students believe teachers were made to do all the teaching and they can just sit and absorb it all in. Those students have it all wrong, teachers are only there to guide us, and the rest of the work is up to your own will to do it. It’s also the same when it comes to coaches. If your team is doing bad, its not always the coaches fault. I’m in a basketball league and we had a bad season this year. Half the team blamed the coach saying all he did was make us run at practices and yell at us. They had such high expectations for just one man and didn’t even bother to reflect his good qualities. He created plays for all of our shortcomings and worked one on one with players who were struggling. People shouldn’t set such high expectations for people because in the end they’ll only be disappointed.

Fritz Perls once said, “I am not in this world to live up to other peoples’ expectations, nor do I feel the world must live up to mine.” What I love about this quote is that it says you don’t need to live up to anybody else’s expectations but your own. If you felt you did your best and did not succeed, then so be it. Whenever you do something people are going to expect something out of you. Whether it is basketball, schoolwork, etc. If we all did the things we were capable of, then I’m sure we’d be surpassing everyone’s expectations.

Kobe always expects the best out of him and never lowers his expectations to meet his performance. But there’ll always be people behind him with expectations of him. It can’t be stopped but you don’t always have to respond to those expectations. It’s your own expectations you need to respond to. You don’t need to settle for the typical “how are you”, mix it up a bit and tell how you are really feeling. Don’t expect much from others because in the end you’ll just be let down. Expectations are always going to exist in this world, but its up to every one of us to figure out a way to deal with it.

When a person feels anger they tend to be unreasonable. Every little thing would irritate them. They want to be angry. Anger is the unexplainable feeling where you can’t think right and you become irrational, you do things before thinking of the outcome. Everyone in this world has felt this, but everyone has their own way of dealing with it. For me, I try to reason with myself. When a person is angry at someone, they’ll blurt out everything they can think of that will make the other person angry. And because of that, a friendship can end. When you’re angry you’re hurting yourself and the people around you. Life is too short to be angry at every little thing.

Maria Robinson

This is my favorite quote of all time. It describes what I’ve been doing since the November of 2008.  Since that time I have not shoplifted, littered, or done anything that I felt was morally and legally wrong. I tried to change myself because of an incident that occured. That incident made me realize that if I fucked up and done something stupid my whole future could be at risk.

Quick story

I was in passing time in between second and third period. As I was walking pass the cafeteria to my spanish class I saw my friend Ben and we walked together for a bit. We came across a wallet next to a folded up table (it was a duct tape wallet =D, not that it matter). He pointed it out to me and I picked it up. I looked in the wallet and there was nothing but a few cards, maybe there was a credit card in there I dunno. I grabbed that chunk of cards and a thought of taking the cards came to me. When I grabbed the cards Ben started saying “wtf dude that’s messed up” and I was all just kidding man. Then he took it away from me and gave it to the security. I didn’t know why that thought came to me, was it from greed? was it from humor? I felt so guilty afterwards, I couldn’t even pay attention in spanish cos of that. I thought I was starting anew and not doing stupid shit like that, but still that goddamn thought came through to me. It bothered me for a good hour before I felt better after telling about it to some people in my class.

Haha what a loser

I couldn’t stop laughing at this

Seeing her family and friends sob in tears today just broke my heart. I was crying uncontrollably during the speech her father Randy made. He told us to keep family traditions, don’t judge people, and to tell the ones you care for that you love them.

I’m glad I went to the service today, it changed my life. Ashley taught me not to judge people and not to put down people for any reason. She taught me to cherish the loved ones around me. She taught me to always look on the bright side of things.

Rest in peace Ashley. We will never forget you.

Another thing along with the evasion of fears were that I avoided people. During passing time or lunch, as I walk around the hall ways, I meet “ex-friends” or friends I used to hang with but don’t anymore. When I see them ahead of time I either look the other way, take out my phone or iPod and pretend I’m distracted, or just wall past and pretend I don’t see him/her. What really bugs me is when I accidentally make eye contact with them. Some of these friends I avoid are just people I lost contact with and just drifted away from, but some of them were corrupted and starting doing drugs. The friends I lost contact with, I want to talk with them and all, but when I try I just can’t do it.

Annoying people. I don’t know how to deal with them. It’s like they’re so annoying I can’t take it but I don’t wanna just be blunt and tell them “Shut the fuck up you’re not making sense” that just not me. There’s this junior in my strength training class. He is so damn annoying, annoying to the point I want to pimp slap him across the face. When he’s mad he’ll take it out on you and when hes happy he’ll talk to you like nothing happened five minutes ago.  Another thing annoying about him is that he always has an excuse. I was making fun of him this one time that he was benching 65 pounds. He goes and tells me “I got wrestling practice today at noon moron I don’t want to get sore.” People in wrestling tell me he doesn’t even wrestle, he makes an excuse for not wrestling.

Face your fears because you’ll regret it after avoiding it. Make friends with old friends don’t be like me =D. Tell annoying people to fuck off, or say it nicely.

His name was Brenden Foster, hes an eleven year old from Seattle, Washington. He was a victim of Leukemia. He passed away Friday morning, November 21st.

My Heart was melting as I watched this video. When they asked him “What’s the greatest thing in life?” he answered “Just to have one.” That’s possibly the best answer any one can give. His bravery was beyond my comprehension. He never gave up until the last second. When he knew he was going to die he had one last selfless wish. It was to help feed the homeless. Brenden couldn’t get up from his bed so volunteers from all over the country helped pitch in. This guy had Vietnam vets and adults from all over the nation writing letters of encouragement to him. He inspired me to be a better me and to never give up my dreams.

I hope nobody ever forgets you, and for everyone to keep your wish alive.

God bless you man.

R.I.P Brenden Foster